brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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