she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
