We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
