Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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