Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
