Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think I won the penis lottery.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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