i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
