The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
