Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
