i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
