U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
