Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
