That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
