coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
