it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
