I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
