I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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