I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
