he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Randomize
