She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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