he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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