he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
