# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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