HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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