problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
