if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
