How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
