there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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