I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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