Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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