I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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