in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
