That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
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