his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
