found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
