Cold hands, warm shart.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
