He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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