He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize