Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Everclear isn't food dammit
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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