He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The beer is more important than you right now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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