we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
