In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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