i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
