I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
