You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
