i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
