Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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