I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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