Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
