you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
